SHOOTING YOUR SHOT, OR PENALTY GOING TO THROWING?

This would be really short and blunt; I guess?

Well, you know that scenario when you think the brother likes you and you are catching feelings that no one is throwing? You have turned to Courtios.😒

Or you are that brother that when you come around ladies, all of them would start acting weird, all of them would begin to catch feelings like someone released a pheromone bomb and it’s making all of them come on!🔥

The truth is that it is normal for two people of opposite sex (or in some very cold climate, same sex😌) to be attracted to themselves. It is very normal.

Now that we have movements for everything, let me say this; guys and girls who don’t feel any sexual drive for anyone; you guys are normal too; right? Everything is normal…okay.

Moving on, you are that Ronaldo kinda guy and you are that Courtios (Real Madrid’s new keeper that left Chelsea) kinda girl and you want to really figure out what is going on? Well, I have a list of compiled reasons, they are things I sat to think about, read about, experienced myself and heard some experts speak on.

Come let us reason together:

1.      You have to know basic biology: don’t come here forming Lion of the tribe of Jalingo “I can handle this” or “things don’t get to me” yes oh, we have seen you oh! Mistaken identity superhero.😑

You have to know that it is natural that if you are touched in certain places you would react. You also must know that if you spend too much time with a person, no matter how strong you want to be, your hormones would be nudging you to woo them and boo them. 

These things are just basic biological responses. “I didn’t know that she would fall in love” yes na, because you were fondling with your Chihuahua and you expected it won’t react. Did you forget when you were cuddling, forming superman for her, being there for her EVERYTIME, it was only you that she called when in distress, she treated you so special etc.? You must understand these things. It is common place in the animal kingdom to do mating acts, like dancing, fighting, colorful displays etc., we humans aren’t left out. When you begin to do things that biologically suggest to the other person’s biology that you are ready for a relationship, you should expect their biology to respond with an emotional outburst.    

I usually tell people that your heart (Limbic system) is not as intelligent as the other parts of you. It doesn’t really know how to un-love; if you fall in love, it would be hard to fall out of love. Don’t engage something you are not ready to nurture. Learn your biology.

2.      You are sending mixed signals because you don’t know yourself. This is where it should all start fro. Intrapersonal intelligence is the key to relating with others. You must understand who you are and what makes you tick; if not you would be dancing “skelewu” to blues. You need to understand what it is that makes you like someone, gets comfortable around them, and eventually want to date them. This has to be clear in your mind; apart from basic biology, there are things called love languages—I know some of you think it is crap, but there are some things that people do to you that translates to you as “this person really likes me or has a crush on me”. With this you can know the boundaries to set and the ones to take off.

3.      Know the other person: After knowing yourself which is key, you can now successfully know others and how to relate with them. Know when what you are saying is getting to them, know when to back off, know when to fire on etc.

4.      Finally, communicate. I think this should come third, but it’s here. Clearly define the relationship from the start, in the middle and in the other middle. Any undefined relationship would go south, I tell you. A quote says “when the use of something is not known, the abuse is inevitable”. If you don’t want to turn your friendship, to friend-plane crash, you better define the relationship in very clear terms and keep on defining it. In case the relationship takes on a different trajectory than you intended, please let the other person know clearly “Hey bros, I get one kain crush for you oh” let the broda know that it is no longer business as usual. Communicate when he is calling you “baby” or “sweetheart” and its sending mixed signals. Ask questions to be sure that what he is doing is not shooting shot, so you would not see the ball entering throw-in and think it is a goal. He touches you in a certain way and you don’t know if he is sending signals, it is best you ask him to stop if he has no intention of taking this further.

What a blessedness to see two jambites, fall in love, break up and get married to someone else; love really is a beautiful thing and we ought to cherish the moments we spend with those we love. I take relationships (friendship and dating) very seriously, because emotions are involved and people could legit be hurt by your actions whether genuine or sinister.

Let me close with this; before you kick the ball into that post, ask “will I never be caught dead with this person 50 years to come, or I would be glad I scored that goal?” I am sure you have seen course mates, and secondary school class mates that you liked but now look like ogres few years later—shine your eyes!  

You dey feel me?

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